GUYS!!! I read a parenting book!

GUYS! I Read a Parenting Book!

I did it! I actually did it! I read one book about parenting and now I am an expert parent!  

Before I started the book, I knew I was a little behind in the ‘grand knowledge of all things Mommy & Daddy,’ but once I startedreading- “wow-wee” did I realize what a truly awful parent I was!

I have been fostering bad habits, keeping an unrealistic sleep schedule with a totally unhelpful bedtime routine, and making my child feel inadequate and not truly listened to. Who knew I could be doing so many things wrong as I parent my child in the way I see fit? 

Shortly after she was born and we left the hospital, we were given some advice for feeding and washing the baby, but that was pretty much it. We didn’t go home with a manual or stack of books, and definitely no homework!

We were however, tested! Both my husband and I were tested beyond our wildest dreams:

-How patient can you be after only 3 hours of sleep?

-How fast can you clean up spit up off your shirt before any of your adult friends notice?

-And finally, How do you get poop out of the curtains?

And because my husband and I were both self-titled experts, we Aced all of these tests, clearly! 

But seriously, NO ONE tells you what to expect! But MAN, after reading that book I feel like I know exactly how to deal with the never ending tests our daughter is assigning to us! 

Things I know for sure:

Parenting books > Advice from Other Parents

The daytime advice that you receive from just one your neighborhood parent friends seems quite meager in comparison to the brilliant guidance offered by a published author with a PhD.  

I mean, your neighbor had 4 kids in just 6 years and the PhD had... well, he has no children actually.  But maybe that gives him a better outlook to base his 329 page book on? 

But in all sincerity, it is a lot less embarrassing to cry in the comfort of your own bed while you read the parenting book, rather than crying at your friends house as he/she lecture you about the disadvantages of feeding your toddler sugar. 

Hey! Here’s some advice, stay inside, don’t have any human interaction as to not become offended and feed yourself and your baby a diet of Cheetos and GoGo Squeeze, respectively.

There’s one thing that the parenting book or neighborly advice did not cover: Parent Guilt! And boy are they the biggest culprits!

I had no idea how utterly dreadful I would feel when compared to my friends’ kids or even worse - all 100 babies that slept “perfectly” after a precise routine of eat, burp, swaddle and sing. 

I’ve had to learn the hard way that one child’s successes are NOT another child’s failures! My child may be totally miserable at bedtime, but every child has her or her series of problems, or to spin the positive, every child has his or her own path of opportunity. Just like each parent has his or her opportunity- I can choose to see the difficulty along with the comparison and unfairness,  or I can chose to take one step at a time! 

AND I can chose to value OUR experience rather than advice from others, or even better weigh the value of both! 

One of my favorite quotes on parenting is:

Parenting is all about YOUR journey with YOUR child. 

So really, no matter how many books I read or people I listen to, I can’t get down on myself! My bedtime routine is not lacking, it’s just different. Yes I can benefit from the instruction of others, but I won’t let it define me as a parent.

The hugs and affection from my daughter is a much better definition, in my opinion! 

Melissa Hoffman

Published August 3, 2019