The TRUTH about being KIND

It may be true that what goes around comes around, right?  Or we reap what we sow? By no means are my next words to be misconstrued to be some ulterior motive to point blame to someone else.  I am merely being introspective to my own experiences and how that may relate to others.

Being kind has been something on my mind, maybe for the last year or more.  It is interesting that sometimes we may think of ourselves as a kind individual, but ultimately it is governed by selfish motivation.  What can I get out of it?  Will someone like me because of XYZ? Can I feel good about myself because someone praises me for doing something kind?  See...if you dig hard enough you probably will come up with a reason why you did an act of kindness.  Whatever that reason may be, it doesn't negate the fact you did something kind, but it may change the way you view your actions.  

I think about this often when facing simple tasks/chores needing to get done around the house.  As a father, I view myself as a strong hard-working man, eager to help where I can.  The moment my wife says to me, "Will you do this <insert random project or task that she has repeatedly asked you to do> for me?" in my mind I wished I had thought to have done it before she asked me...to make it seem like I had intended to do that task all along.  Let me be clear and honest, I LOVE IT when my spouse sings my praises for something.  Even if it is something simple as folding the laundry that day, taking out the trash, and keeping things all clean and tidy at the house.  You know, the things that any normal human being shouldn't be necessarily praised for because...IT'S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD DO ALL THE TIME!!! She'll come home from work and I'm sitting there like

WHEN I SHOULD BE LIKE

You should try it sometime.  The feeling I get now when I do those tasks are more in line with thoughts of my own contribution to the household, and that I SHOULDN'T STOP THERE!!!  I am doing better at recognizing those times, albeit failing often and still finding myself lounging when I should be unloading the dishwasher

Anyways, back to the point.  There was a study done about the feelings you get when you do something intentionally nice for others.  It really boomerangs back to you. 

 

"In one study researchers asked people to either perform acts of kindness for other people for four weeks, such as allowing a stranger to share their umbrella in the rain, or to perform kind acts for themselves for four weeks, such as going shopping and buying themselves a little gift. At the start and end of the study the researchers measured the participants’ level of psychological flourishing, made up of emotional, psychological, and social well-being. By the end of the study the people who had performed kind acts for others had higher levels of psychological flourishing compared to those who acted kindly towards themselves. Benevolent acts also led to higher levels of positive emotions. In short, demonstrating altruism not only benefits others, but makes us feel better ourselves."  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dont-forget-the-basil/201806/being-kind-others-benefits-you

 So in conclusion, be a little selfish and do acts of kindness for others...

because what comes around is reaped...and the sowing thing happens...and all the praising and being showered with gifts and kisses...you get the point!